The birds and the bees

I think that a child is ready for "the talk" when he or she begins asking questions about sex or begins making comments regarding his or her friends who have spoken to them about sex. It is important to have a comfortable place that will be free of distractions when a parent decides to broach the subject of sex. I am a firm believer in teaching abstinence, but not abstinence only. It is important to be completely honest and make sure that your child knows that they are free to ask any, and I do mean any, questions that they may have. At the point that a child is ready for this talk, he will know the basics of the physical act of having sex, but a brief review is never a bad idea. It is not uncommon for peers who are unsure themselves to misinform regarding this subject.  Discussions about sexually transmitted diseases, especially those like HIV, AIDS, and herpes that are incurable, methods of protection, and the fact that each partner is equally responsible for being prepared and providing protection. I know that when I had this talk with my own son, we used the computer to look up pictures of the effects of STIs as well as any associated symptoms. I expalined that not all STIs had visible signs and symptoms and that not all people who have an STI know it or will tell you. He was full of questions and I made sure to answer all of them honestly and without judgement. I also made it very clear that IF he thought he was ready to engage in sexual acts, that it was important for him to protect himself.At this point we discussed contraception, in our case condoms were discussed. We also discussed pregnancy and the responsibilities that go along with that. He knows what it is like to be the product of a teen pregnancy as I gave birth to him on my 18th birthday. While in my mind it was the best birthday present ever it has certainly not been free of its own set of complications. I explained to him that I wanted better for him and his children and that waiting would to have sex until marriage is best. Thankfully, he made the decision to wait until he finds that "right and special" person and thus far has abstained. I feel completely comfortable in the fact that he knows that I will always be here with and open mind and free of judgement should he ever feel the need to talk about this again.